Mid-Week Music #21 - Do They Know What Christmas Is?

This week, I decided to do a more modern Christmas song. In fact, this is one of my favourites. That's right, I'm going to do that classic from 1984, that peak of all songwriting capabilities, Do They Know It's Christmas...

Oh wait. Never mind.

Yes, I was just kidding on all counts. This is not the same song. This is a Christian parody of that song, made by the talented Hans Fiene at Lutheran Satire. Writing songs is actually just part of what he does. Most of the time, he makes videos that do something along the lines of what I like to call Yelling At Culture. In his own words, he "teaches the faith by making fun of stuff". I highly recommend hopping over to his channel.

This video actually has most of the characters from his videos in it. So if you're confused about any of the characters, just go take a look at some of his videos, and you'll find out who they are. And let me tell you, every time the original song comes on the radio, I now sing these lyrics instead. Thanks, Pastor Fiene! And I mean that--these lyrics are way more fun. And not just fun: they do in fact teach the faith by making fun of stuff. So do pay attention to the lyrics, if you will.

Now here is the real question: Do They Know What Christmas Is at all? Let's hope they find out, once they listen to this song.

It's Christmastime, and we know why we celebrate

Cause at Christmastime, the love of Christ, it conquers hate
And with this word of comfort, we can know salvation's joy

Get to church, and grab your Bible, it's Christmastime

But say a prayer, pray for the other ones
Those who won't go to Mass cuz there is football onnn
There's the world outside your window

Where they've clearly lost their way
Where the only book they're reading is that Fifty Shades of Gray
And their children don't know Jesus, but they sure know Pikachu
Well, tonight, thank God it's them instead of you
Yeah, no, don't remotely thank God for that. That's a terrible prayer.

And there might be snow in Michigan this Christmastime

But snow don't rescue squat from death and sin

Oooh, come on, Patrick!

So when they can't even spell Saviour or Emmanuel

Do they know what Christmas is at all?

Do you... wait, what part is this? I don't know this part.

Is this the bridge? No one knows the bridge to this song! Why didn't I get a better part?

Don't you know who Horus is at all?

[This is the boring part of the song where nothing happens.]

[Here's a picture of a duck to pass the time:]

*shows a picture of a Canadian goose*

Read the Wo-ord

Let them kn--oh, sorry, not that part yet, sorry

Read the Wo-ord

Let them know--

The third time, Frank--we do that after the third time!

Sorry, man!

Read the Wo-ord

Let them know what Christmas is again

Go to chu-urch

Let them know what Christmas is again

Read the Wo-ord

Let them know what Christmas is again
Go to chu-urch

Let them know what Christmas is again

Nyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaay--

*poof! conk!*

*glug!*

*whack, whack, whack, whack, whack...*

Happy Horus Day, you schnitzel-head Christians.

*whack, whack, whack, whack, whack...*