NOTE: This post was written a few weeks before it was posted. By the time you read it, midterm elections will probably be over. Enjoy anyway!
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With midterm elections coming up, I thought it might
be appropriate to take a look at some of the most prominent candidates.
THOR ODINSON: running for State Senator. With a
thunderous voice, Thor hammers out his opinion from behind his podium. He has
been a member of the House of Representatives for some time, and is now setting
his sights higher. He is well-known for his aggressive policies toward all
enemies of the American way, both foreign and domestic. He is especially
hostile to a protest group in the vein of ANTIFA, calling themselves JOTNAR,
who oppose the current presidency (and, quite frankly, human nature). Thor has
given several press conferences urging decisive action, and even aided
supporters in beating JOTNAR back when they turned one of his press conferences
into a riot. His strong stances on such matters is likely why he is taking the
popularity polls by storm.
ODIN RAVENGOD: running for re-election as State
Governor. With his one eye and long beard, one might think Odin looks more a
sorcerer than a politician. However, he consistently spearheads political
issues, particularly those having to do with education. Unsurprising, given his
background as a teacher. He gives talks at schools and colleges around the
country, but especially in his home state. Some have theorized he sometimes
goes in disguise while on these tours in order to get information about his
voters, but this is unverified. He is quoted as saying “I would even hang
myself if it would assure that all humanity could attain learning and
knowledge.” In addition to his passion for learning, he’s also very concerned
with veterans and war memorials. He has started a home for veterans and war
heroes called “Valhalla Veterans”.
FRIGG FRIDAY: running for State Governor. With her
campaign slogan of “Look to the future”, Frigg is also a popular candidate.
Many of her speeches focus on foresight, trying to anticipate political turmoil
and prepare for it. One issue, however, that has continually come up throughout
this campaign is the scandalous death of her son, Baldr, and his wife some
years ago. The event allegedly took place after measures of protection had been
set up by Frigg to protect Baldr, which casts aspersions on her current
campaign. On her marital relationship with the opposing candidate, Frigg has
made no comment.
FREYJA VANIR: running for State Senator. Most
popular among the younger generation of voters, the beautiful Freyja most often
appeals to their hearts, rather than cover the issues. Love and togetherness
are her focus in this campaign. However, she also takes an interest in the war
heroes and veterans of our country—her “Folkvangr Home For Veterans” rivals
Odin Ravengod’s “Valhalla Veterans”. Freyja often appears at her press
conferences and rallies wearing a unique cloak, covered in feathers (called
both “a bold fashion statement” and “indignant frippery” by those in the
media). Strangely, her rallies have been targeted by JOTNAR groups and
individuals, though the reason for their interest is uncertain.
FREYR VANIR: running for Congressman. While his
sister, Freyja Vanir, talks mostly about feelings and ideals, Freyr addresses
issues, and a lot of them. He has many ideas to make things better—from the
administrative authorities of our government to agricultural opportunities to
weather-control projects. He has made clear that he intends to bring up all of
these before the House of Representatives if ever he is elected. His proclaimed
goal is to “bring peace and prosperity to the American people”, making him a
popular candidate. However, it is not all sunny blue skies of potential in this
campaign. There have been rumours that his wife, Gerðr, is a member of JOTNAR, which, if true, could cause
complications to both his and his sister’s campaigns.
NJÖRÐR
VANIR: running for re-election as Congressman. With long experience as a
Navy-man, businessman, and politician, Njörðr is most focused on economic matters in his campaign. He encourages
fair trade and good relations with other nations, stating that these are the
best way to bring back real wealth to our economy. The media, however, as per
usual, has diverted attention from his policies to a personal matter—that of
Skaði Öndurguð. Apparently, they met at
a ski lodge and were soon married, but divorced after twelve days (the most
popular speculation about this is that they could not agree on where to live).
On the matter of Freyja and Freyr Vanir, he has stated that he “brought them up
in politics” and is “proud to see [his] children following in [his] footsteps”.
At this point, we will take a look at two
candidates from the opposing party.
HEL NIFLHEIM: running for Congresswoman. With a constant,
fiercely sober expression, Hel is one of the most popular candidates for the
Democratic Party. She is staunchly pro-choice—she has even gone so far as to
say at one of her rallies, “I consider women who abort their pregnancies to be
giving a gift to me.” She is also very lenient in her immigration policy, saying
that she wants us to accept “all those sent to us”. Hel has also made snide
remarks about Frigg and the matter of her son’s death: “Perhaps if she could
get the whole world to mourn him, he’d spring back to life.” Her followers are
ardently devoted, hanging on her every word, shouting down any opposition. Some
Right-Wingers have said that they’d rather be dead than see her in office:
others have said we all would be.
LOKI LAUFEYSON: running for State Senator. With a
past in the media as well as local and state politics, Loki is by far the most
dangerous opposition the Left has put forth. He is most interested in “Social
Justice”, despite having sided with the Right Wing in past years, and strongly supports
homosexual and transsexual rights. Loki has furthermore accused every single
Republican candidate of wrongdoing. There have been rumours that he was
involved in the death of Baldr, or even arranged the whole thing. Whether this
is true or not, it has been proven how Loki has manipulated events throughout
his campaign, including encouraging and setting up JOTNAR riots. Yet somehow,
he has wormed his way into influence and power, and poses a serious threat to
the Right in this election.
Those are the most prominent of the candidates, as
well as the opposition. I would say which ones will receive my vote, but
unfortunately, I won’t have it myself until after the election. Still, I might
as well know what I’m missing.
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Well, that is my post! I hope you
enjoyed, and were at least somewhat interested. That was the challenge—to
create an analysis of the Norse gods, and a metaphor for them to keep it
interesting.
Somehow, though, I get the feeling that the metaphor wasn’t the
most original. Probably everybody who’s done this class came up with that one.
Ah, well, I hoped you enjoyed
anyway! Which ones would get your vote?
Let me know down in the comments!
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